The Birth (viewer discretion advised)

It's been a month (really?!) since the girls were born and I feel like I need to write down the whole experience. Most (or all) have read my sister Chanelle's post about the birth. I asked her to write it because I was tired of telling the story over and over. Still am...but I'm not asked as much anymore. Thankfully.

I was put on modified bed rest at 20+4 weeks. That continued until...I don't even remember. 25 weeks? Something like that. I'd been having some cramping and contractions and the doctors discovered my cervix was shortening. It should normally be between 3-5cm, mine was 1.8. Apparently my body can't handle the pressure of twins. Who knew?!

As you can tell by my earlier posts, I was in the hospital for almost 3 weeks that trip. It sucked. I wish I could say it was a great experience...but seriously, I felt like I was imprisoned. I was allowed, after 2 weeks, a 1 hour wheelchair trip outside once a day. But that was only when I had visitors. On days no one came, I didn't get to leave my room. Nurses are waaaay too busy to take an hour to roll someone around the hospital.

But let me back up a bit. I was admitted this time because I was contracting regularly and had an appnt with the perinatologist that morning. He immediately rushed me over to the antepartum unit and I was started on Magnesium Sulfate. Which I like to call Satan's Bag of Hell and Damnation. That stuff is AWFUL. There is NO WAY to sugar coat it. I now feel for the patients I have had to put on MgSO4. Next time I have one, I will pamper them to no end. Ugh. Awful. So after a day and a half of that, the doctors started me on Procardia; which is usually taken for blood pressure - but since it dilates the blood vessels it helps contracting muscles relax. The first couple days on it were awful. My heart would race and I would get a nasty headache. Then they had to double the dose because it wasn't working as well as it had been. Drugs suck.

Back to where I was. So the initial plan was that I would be in the hospital until 32 weeks. Then that changed to 28 weeks as long as my cervix wasn't shortening any further and I went home on strict bed rest. Well, come 28 weeks my cervix was still 1.8cm, but since it hadn't changed they let me go home. So I went to my mom's house (this was Mon 11-1) so she would be able to keep after Caleb while I sat around and did nothing. That lasted till Friday when Caleb and I went home to our house because Dave was home for the weekend. Friday went by fine. Saturday went by fine. Sunday was going fine. I slept while Dave took Caleb to church. My in-laws came over and brought dinner. They took Caleb over to my parents so Dave and I could have some time together.

So I was sitting on the couch and had the need for some Pumpkin Chocolate Chip cookies, which have heretofore been nicknamed Labor Cookies. Dave offered to make them - and did - and they tasted great. Then I saw a post from my sister-in-law about guacamole and suddenly I HAD to HAVE guacamole. So Dave went out and got some avocados and we made guacamole and sat on the couch and watched Undercover Boss.

When that was over I felt a little achy and decided to soak in the tub for a bit. So I soaked in there for a while and when I was about to get out I had a SEVERE cramp - one that I could barely breathe through. My stomach didn't tighten, anything. It just hurt. I was thinking it was an IBS flare-up because I hadn't pooped in days. And it's funny now - but all day long I had been trying to poop and I told Dave I was too afraid to poop because I might poop out a baby. Little did I know. So I brushed it off as IBS cramps and proceeded to get out of the tub. THEN I had a BAD contraction. And I told Dave we might need to go to the hospital. And he said for me to get dressed. As he was saying that and bringing me some clothes, I had another contraction and something triggered in my brain and said, "Hey, this feels like when I was about to deliver Caleb." But silly me thought it was just IBS...and at that point I felt like I had to poop. But...it wasn't poop. It was Avery.

Oops.

So as I'm screaming bloody murder Dave manages to catch her just in time. At 1:03am. And at this point Dave is FREAKING OUT. I, however, seem to be having an out-of-body experience. So as Dave is calling 9-1-1 I keep telling him to get a towel to dry her off and keep her warm. Luckily she is crying and nice and pink. In my brain I'm even thinking about her APGAR score and rubbing her back, but all i can think to say is, "Hi, Avery." So Dave is over here screaming for help and I'm just sitting there like "Is this really happening? Am I really here?" It was so fast and so random and so unexpected I didn't know how to cope with it.

Soon a police man arrives, peeks into the bathroom, and immediately says "I'm going to go flag down EMS." He was SO helpful. Next thing I know, there are 6 men in my house and I am butt naked. All I'm thinking is "I didn't get a chance to wipe..." as they're all staring down there. Lovely. So they take Avery and whisk her away in an ambulance (which I didn't even know until they were loading me up). Then they decide to try and get me to the hospital before Addison comes. I was contracting but not feeling any urge to push. So...they load me up in a tarp. Yes...a tarp. Nothing makes you feel like a beached whale than being carried in a TARP. Seriously? And no one even held my head! So I'm contracting, butt naked, trying to hold my head up and not push, while 5 men carry me out into the 30 degree weather. Not how I planned on spending the evening. So they load me up into the ambulance where I am met by two lovely females. Finally. I asked them if I could have some drugs and they said all they had was morphine. I looked at them blankly, like that was supposed to deter me. I didn't get any drugs.

So we're going lights and sirens to the hospital...and the dumb driver pulls up to the ER entrance. The girls in the back with me gave him the look like, "You idiot"...so back we go into the ambulance and drive around to the Labor & Delivery entrance. EMS had called ahead and let them know that we were on our way. So they wheel me into the hospital where I start having the desire to push. IN THE LOBBY. With PEOPLE. BUTT NAKED. Can I just say...when someone says they have to push...and you tell them not to push...they're gonna push. It's not like you can stop it. So I scream bloody murder again because...well, let's face it, no matter what size baby it is, it HURTS. So then I think I am done pushing and starting to feel relieved when one of the EMS ladies says, "That was the placenta...are you still pushing?" Well, no, but I will now, thank you very much. So more painful pushing later...and here comes Addison...butt first and BLUE. She's not crying, she's not breathing...and the lady starts giving her compressions. At this point the NICU team comes off the elevator and they take her and run.

I'm wheeled into the delivery room (hahahahaha) where they are looking over Addison and the neonatologist assures me that Addison is doing well and looks great and so did Avery. Then they take her to the NICU.

I feel like a horrible mother...but I just wanted some drugs. I kept asking but didn't get anything till Dr. Shin starting stitching me up. Then I got some Nubain and Phenergen and everything suddenly looked better.

To this day, I don't know that it's really sunken in yet. It just doesn't seem real. I know that will change when the girls finally get to come home and I'll have a constant reminder that yes I am indeed a mother of 3. And yes, it did happen. It was just so weird. No warning. Nothing.  I keep thinking back, wondering if I missed some sign. But there's nothing other than me joking about pooping out a baby. Like I joked about being pregnant with twins before we found out. Maybe I should stop joking.